Everynight, there is few minutes when I lie down in the dark, smoke a cigarate, listen to a song and think. I dont know to be proud that among all the craziness life force to us, I still think for a moment or two or to kill myself because of the torture the thinking applies to me.
Life is more difficult that nI thought it would be when I was a child or a teen. I believe people are capable of change. 50 percent. That's it. If somebody does want to change and tries to to its best can change up to 50 percent, not more. There is always 50 percent of us that nev er changes, not to better not to worse.
To be frank, I, aside from all the happy things, am sad. when I look back and watch all things that I have lost, I feel empty. I lost so many important things, many things I miss and they just pop in my head everyday. It can be something as small as a pink bottle or as big as my family. No matter how much important they were, I miss them the same, the pain is the same. The pain of loosing something dear never goes away, never heals. I just hid it, concealit under my smiles. Not that I am the best concealer , no. The frowns, showlder shruggings, lying down in the darks, they all are leaks. I leak andmy sadness appears.
But the world's so big, all my sadness blends with all the smiles and tears and nobody never realises what happened behind that little frown of mine.

Round, like a wheel within a wheel, never ending or beginning, like a snowball down the mountain or a carnaval ballon, Like a tonel that you folow to a tonel of its own, down the hall to a cabin where the sun never shown, like a door that keeps revolving in a half forgotten dream, like a circle that you find in the windmills of you mind.