Yeah. I had a melt down today! I melted deep so terribly down that the remaining is nothing. I am sitting here. So terribly shocked, rediculed and small. I do feel small, well another thieves has stolen another thing from me. Shouldnt I be use to this? Isnt it the story of my life? Thieves stoling things from me? Robbing me all the time and leave me even smaler each time?
Believe me I am small enough now to sit here and confess being small.
I cried not alot compared to past me being robbed, more than others still. I dont know how much more lemonade I can make with all the lemons life's being giving to me.
I'm empty, no I'm full. I am filled with nothingness, loosing and missing. Shall I go on? Can I go on? Ow common, I have had the worse but isnt it the worst?
I asked for some chocolate and yet here it is more lemons, more paper, more poison. I am cold all the time, it's like shivering so hard I cannot feel my hands, arms.
Here it is a curtain of tears fill my eyes and... no matter who is there I feel amone and now? Even more.
I lost something precious to me today, can I go back in time to save it, To save me? I wish I could.
I wonder till when it's gonna last? Terrible fates are inovitable. Right. One day you will stand there, somebody will come and steal your whole existance, your whole being and no matter how loudly you scream and ask for help, your life is gone. It's over.
I miss things, I lost one more time. Okay destiney, you win. I was the Hemingway hero, defeated but not destroyed. What if I confess that I am destroyed, what would you do? Would you live me alone? Can it end please? Can you feed all these lemons to somebody else? A fresh hero, full of himself? Can you? Life is like a box of chocolate, you never know what you're gonna get. But there is a fact, the chocolate box. Yesterday I said, it's a mixed chocolate box and now I take it back. It all the same, it's either dark or milky. Mine? I find more lemons in that damn box as time goes by.