I took these pills not because that relation ended. It's been month that that relation had ened for me. I have decided long ago that it goes nowhere.
I took thoes pills because I must have. Because I found every move I have done in my life was wrong, every decision I made made me fall deeper and deeper. Because I found I have made a wrong life. A fake one. I took those pills not because of betrayal of one person, betrayal of all. All the lies I heard from sides, all the hypocrisy, all the carelessness from everyone. All the madness every each of people in my life has shown. I took thoes pills because I saw how parents close their eyes on what their children do. Because I saw how the whole time I was on a hanger.
I took thoes pills because I see no honour, no value nither in me nor in any of people around me. People claiming love me, care for me.
No. I took thoese pills because I didn't want to see any of these people anymore.

Because I believed in a fake certain person. I believed in his fake life. And I made a fake life based on his existence.

Off roading doesnt make me stop thinking. Yes that was my fault I think alot. Like it was a harakiri. Like Japanese samurai who does so because of theor mistake, because of their honor.